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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666991">church youth group (it has nothing to do with church don't worry)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweatybearherolamp/pseuds/sweatybearherolamp'>sweatybearherolamp</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Half Life VR But The AI Is Self Aware</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Anxiety Attacks, Panic Attacks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:21:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,713</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24666991</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweatybearherolamp/pseuds/sweatybearherolamp</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tommy teaches Gordon emotional intelligence.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Benrey &amp; Tommy Coolatta</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>74</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. whats a panic attack between three friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>tw panic attack</p><p>this doesn't quite fit with the other two but I also didn't really want to post it by itself? oh well<br/>The order is kind of like, chronological ig? Don't think too hard about it kasdjfldsfjldks</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>He couldn't stop the high trills that escaped his throat, hands clamping down over his eyes, why was he looking at him, <em> stop looking at me </em> -. He wished he had his helmet, missing the protective barrier between him and the prying eyes of others. <em> Why wouldn't Gordon just leave him alone? </em></p>
<p>"You alright, buddy?" He sounded nervous. What did he have to be nervous about? Benrey was the one hyperventilating on the floor, Gordon would have to wait his turn. He wished Gordon would stop looking at him.</p>
<p>"Benrey? Benrey? You alright, buddy?" Gordon reached out a placating hand, and Benrey wanted to scream.</p>
<p>He wanted to scream fuck off, go away, stop fucking looking AT ME-, but all that escaped was more whines. Why wouldn't he leave already? Why did he care? He could at the very least shut up.</p>
<p>Another voice joined in. Tommy.</p>
<p>"He doesn't like it when you look at him," Tommy said, brows furrowed. He frowned, briefly. "And, he- uh, he doesn't like when you- uh, talk. You have to be quiet. Quieter than a leaf on the midnight breeze."</p>
<p>Tommy shifted nervously, setting Benrey's helmet on the floor and nudging it towards him. It bumped Benrey's hand one second and was on his head the next, and Tommy slowly moved to sit in front of him, blocking Gordon's view. Benrey shoved his face against Tommy's back, and tried to sync his breathing with Tommy's.</p>
<p>The panic noises that clawed their way from the back of his throat slowly settled, freeing his voice to talk again. When he felt like he could finally move, he mumbled a gruff <em> thanks Tommy </em>under his breath before stumbling down an empty hallway.</p>
<p>"What was that about?" Gordon asked quietly, watching Benrey disappear around a corner.</p>
<p>Tommy blinked at him, slowly, a look of confusion followed by a more calculating look. Tommy furrowed his brows, his gaze sharp and shoulders squared as he stood, straightening up to his full height, a good few inches taller than Gordon.</p>
<p>Gordon raised his hands, a half smile on his face.</p>
<p>"No, it's ok, I get it! I do! I'm not, like, judging him or anything, I just wanted to know what triggered it, so we can avoid it in the future." He paused, thinking. "Unless that's too personal, or you don't want to talk about it, or- do you think I should just ask him, maybe? Maybe that would be more like. Polite or something, I don't-." </p>
<p>Tommy's face relaxed, and he echoed Gordon's placating tone from earlier as he rested a hand on Gordon's shoulder.</p>
<p>"It's ok, Dr. Freeman! You don't have to worry!"</p>
<p>"I- Alright. Ok, but if you need anything, or uh, if Benrey needs anything, let me know, ok? We're the Science Team. We gotta work together, ok?"</p>
<p>"Ok, Dr. Freeman!" Tommy said, smile bright as he fell back into his normal cheery tone.</p>
<p>"Look Gordon, ropes! We can use these to climb big pits-" echoed in the distance, followed swiftly by choked noises and gunfire.</p>
<p>Gordon started jogging towards the noise, a world weary sigh escaping as more shouts echoed towards them. Tommy followed close behind, his cheery disposition yet again unphased.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. and the universe said guess who's back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw ptsd? kind of ;oo, and just general like anxiety</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Gordon had crashed the second they got back from Chuck E. Cheese’s, falling face down onto his bed and falling asleep almost instantly, still covered in gunk and viscera. Benrey had tailed him home, just making sure he got home safe he reasoned with himself. He found himself staring down at Gordon’s still form, unmoving and uncaring. His brow was still furrowed, face tense even in sleep. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>That was the first and last time Benrey had seen Gordon get a full nights sleep. Well, more like a day? Benrey hadn’t bothered watching the time and they’d gotten back at an odd hour, but he was certain he was sleeping a lot longer than humans normally did. Benrey sat at Gordon’s desk, furrowing his brow at the normal chair. It wasn’t even on wheels. It was more suited to a dining table then a computer desk, but Benrey had limited choices. He settled in and watched Gordon sleep.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>When Gordon woke up Benrey almost didn’t notice. His eyes had fluttered open slightly, before instantly snapping shut again. Gordon went perfectly still, breath so slow and light it didn’t look like he was breathing at all. There was a familiarity to it that tickled at the back of Benrey’s mind.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yo, Feetman, you, like- need air, bro. Breathe right.” Benrey huffed slightly, had he forgotten how to breathe or something in the hours he was asleep? </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon’s eyes flew open, instantly sitting up. Benrey was temporarily blinded by a pillow meeting its mark in the center of his face. He fell back slightly, surprise making him lash out towards the desk, most definitely knocking shit off. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I thought- You- We </span>
  <em>
    <span>killed</span>
  </em>
  <span> you! You were </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead</span>
  </em>
  <span>.” Gordon stuttered out, scrambling to his feet but getting tangled up in his bed sheets. He stumbled and fell on to the floor, thrashing a bit before he could get to standing again. Benrey watched in silence, completely still save for his eyes tracking Gordon across the room. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Yeah.” Benrey said simply. “Your gamer setup is pretty cringe, bro. Your chair doesn’t even have wheels.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon inhaled, hands coming together as if saying a silent prayer, before he stumbled out of the room, abruptly deciding that actually, he didn’t care. It was too early and all he could think about was the absolutely horrid taste in his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey, of course, followed him into the bathroom. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon mumbled out a </span>
  <em>
    <span>personal space, dude</span>
  </em>
  <span>, before searching for his toothbrush. Fortunately everything was where he had left it. Unfortunately, he hadn’t bothered cleaning up his mess since he was running late and toothpaste was caked on the inside of the sink and hairbrushes and products were tossed everywhere. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Gordon’s hair fell in his face, catching in the toothpaste that dripped from his mouth.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Hot,” Benrey murmured before reaching out to tuck the hair behind Gordon’s ear. Gordon’s arm snapped out, slapping Benrey’s away as he stumbled back slightly, tripping over the rumpled rug and falling on to the thankfully closed toilet seat.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was silence between them, as they stared at each other, Benrey’s eyes wide with surprise as Gordon tried to get his heartbeat under control again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“You’re a little clumsy, huh,” Benrey said, “you need to calm down.” He let out a little stream of blue, in an effort to help Gordon chill out a little. Gordon flinched back as best he could from where he was sitting, the little orbs bursting harmlessly across his chest. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Don’t- I… Just, don’t.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Benrey backed out of the bathroom and attempted to casually lean against the doorway. He was sure he looked awkwardly tense, but Gordon didn’t comment on it. He got up from the toilet to continue brushing his teeth, the bathroom settling into silence.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I like this one a lot but I've been told that it feels a little incomplete ;oo hopefully with them all together it's a little better!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. i feel a good, but you make me angry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>tw uhhhh im not sure for this one if anyone thinks of anything lmk ;ooo</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Benrey sat on the couch staring at the TV, its glow casting an eerie shadow on his face, a mimicry of how he looked with his helmet, but instead of hard plastic and fabric fluffy hair guarded his face. Tommy was seated next to him, endlessly twirling a bit of string around his fingers as he also watched the TV screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey was staring down the TV, expression blank, as he mashed the controller buttons, jaw clenched as he glared at the TV. His foot bounced up and down where it was crossed over the other, the only unnecessary movement he bothered with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Having fun?” Gordon said, sarcasm clear in his tone. Judging by Benrey’s face he was either immensely bored or slightly constipated.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s pretty cool,” he mumbled, distant as he focused on the screen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So you do like it? I’m surprised, I didn’t know you were capable of feeling positive emotions.” Feeling petty Gordon added, “Besides when you got my arm cut off of course.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Benrey’s eyes flicked towards him, just a quick glance, the most acknowledgement he’d given him in the past hour. His lip quirked downward for a second before returning back to his flat expression. His foot stopped bouncing as he mumbled something but it got lost in the space between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon cleared his throat, suddenly uncomfortable with the silence. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m gonna go get a- yeah,” he started, stumbling slightly as he headed towards the kitchen. Tommy stood up quickly, following close behind him and stepping slightly on his heels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon went to the fridge, grabbing three cans of soda. He held one out towards Tommy who just looked at him. The silence in the kitchen was stifling, only broken up by the sounds of Benrey’s game in the background. The can was already gathering condensation on Gordon’s hand, and the cold was seeping into his palm and fingertips.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That- what you said to Benrey, you said- you, uhm…” Tommy frowned, brow furrowed looking frustrated. “You said that he wasn’t able to feel good feelings. And that was, rude.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy paused again, eyes flitting around the kitchen before looking Gordon directly in the eye and straightening up slightly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“And that was a real asshole thing to say, Dr. Freeman.” Tommy said, arms coming to cross across his chest, and digging his fingers into his arms. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I- what? Look at him, Tommy. He doesn’t look happy at all.” Gordon shifted back slightly, looking towards Benrey, who was still as blank looking as before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Maybe,” Tommy said carefully, jaw clenched in frustration as he tried to find his words, “you should look harder.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy left the kitchen, leaving Gordon in stunned silence, soda can still in his tight grip. Tommy went and sat directly next to Benrey, almost pressed against him but not quite. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Gordon’s contemplative silence was interrupted by Benrey’s signature cackle, as he gestured at the screen a slurry of words dropping from his mouth as he rushed to get his thoughts out, hand waving in sharp jerks downward. He angled his body slightly towards Tommy but kept his eyes on the bold white text saying </span>
  <b>
    <em>YOU WON! </em>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <span>Tommy shot a look towards Gordon, sharp and pointed. Gordon just nodded, before finally moving back into the living room and settling in to watch Benrey play more. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>i dont have a hlvrai side blog but my mineblr is letsfluxshitup if you're into that sort of thing. huh i don't really have any other way of contacting me so uh don't (/j ily)</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>&lt;&lt;&lt;333</p></blockquote></div></div>
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